Guiding the Blind

On one of the running paths by the Mississippi River, I have frequently seen a blind man and his female friend taking a walk. I started thinking after I passed them about how the woman guides her friend, talking with him and enjoying the time together (at least I picture her enjoying it).

I found myself relating to the blind man's position in my relationship with God. He faithfully walks with me everyday. Because of my forgetfulness, we often walk the same paths of learning as he patiently guides me and teaches me. I don't like feeling blind, not knowing what is to come. I want to be in control.

I must admit, however, that I need God to guide me and keep me on the right path. Today I noticed the woman gently prod her friend as he strayed from their path. God constantly does the same with me, although sometimes it take more than just a small prod. He never leaves my side. As he walks with me, I get to enjoy the companionship of livng with him. The woman does not join her friend just to tell him where to go. From my point of view, it seemed like they desired the deepening of their relationship that came along with the time they spent walking with each other. In the same way, I get to enjoy growing closer to God while he guides me.

Forgiveness

Today I took longer that I expected buying groceries after work, and my roommates had to wait on me to go home. I felt so awful that they had to wait because I should have taken the bus and let them go home without me. I learned what to do for next time, but I still hated making them upset, annoyed, frustrated with me. What I wanted more than anything was to know they forgave me. I desperately wanted to do something for them in return for what happened. I felt indebted to them for putting my needs ahead of theirs.

Lately I've been trying to focus on others more than myself, especially with how to serve my roommates like Jesus served others. Today I ended up doing the exact opposite, and I couldn't stop thinking about it.

The experience reminded me of how little I realize the size of the debt Jesus paid for me, and how I should feel so much more indebted to him. I should want to give my whole life to him, just like I wanted to give something to my roommates whom I had wronged. It's amazing to think that God completely forgave me without me having to do anything. After feeling the incredible need for forgiveness from my roommates, I appreciated God's grace with a new perspective. Although I know I will keep making mistakes like this one, I can always depend on God to forgive me because he already has. I just cannot express what a relief this is, and I know I don't even comprehend it completely!

Strength from Hope

Last night as I went to bed, I was feeling so worn out from this first week at Target. I read Isaiah 40, and the part that stood out to me most was how those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. It gave me such comfort to write down a list of my worries and then think about finding hope in God ease all of them. Although I was feeling down and unsettled, my spirit was lifted just by refocusing on God. It's funny how sometimes all it takes is turning my eyes from the "waves" around me to focus on him again so that I can keep walking on water toward him.

In This Moment

Have you ever stopped for a second to take a big breath? Sometimes when I do this, I realize how rushed I have been or how little time I spend focusing on the moment I'm living right now instead of on things in the past or in the future.

God has been teaching me about how to live one moment at a time. It's so easy to forget! Whenever I do remember, though, it's such a freeing feeling. Right here, right now, I am loved and redeemed. I look to God and focus on following him in this moment, waiting on his guidance. His nearness is my strength (Psalm 73).

I just arrived in Minneapolis yesterday, and I start work tomorrow. I have felt so overwhelmed by so many new things, but it helps to know that all I have to do is look to God in this moment. I'm so glad that I can rest in the strength of his presence knowing that each moment he will be there to guide me.

Living in the moment helps me relax and be able to enjoy living, too. It's like when the mother in My Big Fat Greek Wedding says, "I gave you life so that you could live it." I think God has done the same for us. He freed us to live in freedom. Letting go of things I can't control, like all the moments yet to come, is freeing for me.

How Big is Our God

The other night, as I brushed my teeth and got ready for bed, I thought about how big God must be and how hard it is for me to even comprehend that. It was frustrating at first to realize that I don't give his greatness nearly the credit it deserves.

Then I started thinking about how maybe just acknowledging that God is so much bigger than I can grasp is all I can do.

In Mister God, This is Anna, five-year-old Anna explains that when we try to understand God, we make him small, and we decrease the difference between us. She says once we finally admit that we don't understand God at all, we give him the freedom to be who he really is, which the very meaning of love. At this point, he becomes his proper size (Fynn 174).

The idea that God is so great makes me appreciate even more how he makes himself small for me. He teaches me through ways I can understand, giving me just as much as my mind can handle at one time. He reveals himself to me in the small things. It's amazing how he knows just how to do this.